And I’ll tell you what time it is? What time is it? It’s time for this amazing piece of craftsmanship to come be in a prominent place on your living room wall. Don’t you just find wolves majestic? Their cool crisp eyes, their shining white teeth, all the better to eat you with my dear! And who doesn’t love a piece of varnished tree to decorate their home, not you!
This finely hand crafted timepiece can be yours and all you have to do is ask nicely and bring me a picnic basket full of goodies.
I am available to meet you in Park Slope on Friday March 1 or Saturday March 2. I’ll be wearing red. Please leave your silver bullets at home.
Can i have it please call me @ ***-***-****
(David you put so very little effort into this for such a wonderful item. No.)
I loved your post and the clock but no romanian would put wolves on the wall:)Although, I guess I could replace the pic, ah?:))
I decided to inform you about our swap meetings…InOurHearts at the Judson Church in Mhtn…Townsquare’s, in G’point most of the time…Questions? I’d be pleased to reply.
(I didn’t totally understand this. So you don’t want it because you’re Romanian? And Romanians hate wolves? Is this true? I thought about Googling it but then I realized I didn’t really care that much. But if any one wants to tell me why Romanians hate wolves please do. Oh yeah and she wanted to take out the picture of the wolves and put in something else and I really wasn’t ok with that.)
hey grandma, i hope you can meet before march 1st!
(What? No. I said March 1st or March 2nd, I’m really busy all the time giving stupid stuff away on Craigslist and I’m not going to meet you just because it’s convenient for you. No wolf clock for you!)
hi if you still have the clock i can m,eety you tomorrow in park slope , please let me know ? thank you . sam
(So I love, love BIG fonts and I cannot lie. I mean they get your attention especially when they are in a color other than black. I also really like when there is all this weird spacing and commas in the middle of words. Thank you for brightening my day Sam! But no clock for you.)
i’d like to pick up the clock this afternoon if possible. i work in
downtown brooklyn and live in prospect heights. i can meet after 3pm
(This person was just kind of boring and expectant.)
cute clock can pick i t up by 1pm i work
right at the brooklyn public library
(I know you only work by the library and you’re not a librarian but a little more effort would have been nice.)
hi would love to have that clock its my style
(I am always curious when people say things like “That ugly/odd/weird thing that you have is my style” because that just makes me want to meet them. But I didn’t pick Lew.)
Hi im chris I can pickup asap im only 15 minutes away
(Chris I really like it when people have to come from far away for this stuff. You’re too close and maybe you only want it because of proximity?)
B in the slope around 2 if u still wana give this away.. My sons room would love it ans so wud he, thx
(Taught to spell by wolves!)
Would like this wood piece if still available let me know asap.
(It’s a clock! Call it by name!)
hi were in brighton beach , i really love the clock ,i collect folk art clocks and have a bunch , we know the slope area well we go there to eat and walk in the park in the summertime and for the stoop sales, and if you have or get some other things we can use or regift to friends here who lost things during the hurricane please let me know anytime, we have gotten allot of things from people in the slope area practical things and just nice stuff to cheer people up ,imm home mornings and after 6 p.m. most nights please call or email anytime you have somethings even odd items and let me know , thank you SAM
(And brightening my day again is SAM. So big so blue. And he really wants this clock. To re-gift?)
Hi I can pick up the clock asap.my number is ***-***-**** let me low thanks
Oh my goodness, I never thought I’d see something so kitschy yet so wonderful on Craigslist! Please please please may I have it? I can pick it up on Friday night after 6 pm, or any time on Saturday.
(Wow, look at those manners. And that backhanded compliment. Now we’re talking. There’s something about Mary!)
Good morning .. lol. My name is jess I would like the clock .I have a fascination with wood …. Let me know what’s up and the details on this basket of goodies and what it consist of ?
(What? Why are you lol-ing me? It was morning when you sent this, no reason for laughing out loud. And what’s with your fascination with wood? Like where it comes from? I am passing up a basket of goodies because you lol-ed too early in the morning.)
hi just emailed / replyed to the other email add / email@example.com <, ill be at the Fort hamilton f train stop at 5:30 if your there today i can stop over otherwise on friday or saturday I can meet you , thank you , SAM
(Oh Sam, the ever persistent Sam, so well intended with your large blue font. I have some concerns about this email the third in a series but I am not to going to tell you what those concerns are right now.)
This posting has been flagged for removal.
And then it got flagged and removed like they tend to do. Jerks. So I reposted it.
I love the clock. Friday is good
(I got nothing.)
hi i emailed in the morning , i would really like to have the clock , imm going to park slope later todaY about 5:30 to pick up somethings , if your around i can go over to you afterwards or wen ever its good for you, please let me know ?thank you. Sam-
(And then a fourth from Sam. I feel very close to him now. His desperation is palpable.)
Address please I can pick up anytime!
(You think it’s that simple Raul. I must vet you first!)
Is the clock still available? Thank you
(Yes and no. But mostly no.)
Alright, where can I meet you.?..
(No name, no number, no please, no thank you. I’m pretty sure this is the real big bad wolf.)
I would love to have this clock…My husband (K) is coming into Brooklyn on Friday afternoon and he can pick it up. Please let me know where to go…he needs the zip code for his GPS …My cell# is ***-***-****….Thanks, Juliana
(I liked her enthusiasm but another one of my made up rules is that I only meet with the person who emailed me. Her loss.)
hello would like your clock very much & thank you ,max
(Friendly enough but a little bland.)
Hello there found your ad in craigs list …I will be looking for grandma in red in park slope I loved the clocks…
(She never says that she wants the clock just that she’ll be looking for me. Should I be worried?)
Second time emailing you.
I’m interested thank you
(Really he only emailed me once, unless this is SAM in disguise.)
This posting has been flagged for removal.
And then after the second flagging and removal I had to pick someone. And yet even after flagging and removal Sam still emailed me. So I wrote him back to give him the bad news.
hi i emailed yesterday , if you still have the clock please do let me know and if you get some other things we can use or regift to friends here please keep us in mind call or email anytime, thank you. SAM
You didn’t win the wolf clock.
Better luck next time.
(Of course he wrote me back.)
hi o k thank you for letting me know , if you do get some other things we can use or regift to friends here in brighton beach please do let me know anytime, thank you SAM
In the end I chose Mary because she had the nicest email and she said Please three times and I am all about pleasantries and politeness. So I wrote her back.
I’d like you to have the wolf clock. Let’s meet on Saturday. I plan on
being at a coffee shop between 10 and 2 pm in the North Slope.
Cool, thanks! I’ll be there around noon; what’s the address of the coffee shop?
And so we met and Mary LOVED the wolf clock, just like I knew she would. And everybody lived happily ever after.