“The Ugly Plate”

How do you let a loved one know that you are mad at them or that they have wronged you in some way? Well, when you make them breakfast, lunch or dinner you serve it to them on “The Ugly Plate”. It gets the point across quite quickly. They will know that some injustice has been preformed against you and they will have to shape up or ship out.  Unfortunately for me I have used “The Ugly Plate” one too many times and now I am out of friends and loved ones.  So now I will give away “The Ugly Plate” and rebuild my friend network. But first please get this thing out of my house!

Can meet in Park Slope Thursday August 12 between 3 and 6ish.

———————————————————-

that’s awsome.

-ZY

———————————————————-

I love this master piece, I am very interested!

-JS

(Masterpiece is one word, are you unfamiliar with the popular TV show Masterpiece Theater? But I’m glad you love it.)

———————————————————-

that was really funny! Thanks for the laugh. You have a great sense of humor. I am sure you will have no problem finding new friends 🙂

-S

(Ohhh thanks!)

———————————————————-

I’m surprised you never tried to serve me a dutch baby on that thing.
-BG

(I am surprised too!)

———————————————————-

I’ll buy you dinner in exchange for The Ugly Plate

Maybe you’ll make a new friend

-ED

(Ummm did this guy just ask me out? I think he is looking in the wrong section on Craigslist maybe M seeking W? Or Casual Encounters?)

———————————————————-

I need it!  My best friend and roommate got me arrested three nights ago!  Again!  Now I am not going back to college.  I need my vengeance; I need this plate.  Do you still have it? I can come get it on the 12th.

LD

(Oh my god, her roommate got her arrested, AGAIN.  This is it, the winner of the Ugly Plate. I need to hear this story.)

———————————————————-

Hi! is the plate still available? If yes email me, and I will meet up with you
thank you!
-no

(It’s funny that this persons initials are n.o. I think that pretty much sums it up.)

———————————————————-

That’s cool, people just don’t like the truth cindy

(I didn’t really understand this one because the e-mailer’s name was not Cindy.)

———————————————————-

hilarious!
that plate would certainly douse an appetite!
-ES

———————————————————-

i will be by methodist hospital on Friday at 2 pm if you can wait thanks

-PartyGal

(Hmmm maybe party gal should go to ArrestedGal’s party then we could talk.)

———————————————————-

Hi,
What a beautiful plate is it!  I would love to take it!
Who said it’s “The Ugly Plate”?
She looks like me!  I’ll take care of her well, enjoy to use her well.
Please give  her to me!

I live in Park Slope, and I’m off on Thursday!  perfect to pick her up! (such a fate to get her!!!)

Hope to hear from you.

-KK

(While it’s true that I was wildly tempted to e-mail this girl and ask her for a photo to confirm her likeness to “The Ugly Plate” I had already pretty much decided to go with ArrestedGal.)

———————————————————-

O Hai!

i saw uz haz an ugli plate! O yay! Cuz I has an ugli. I can haz ugli plat? Iz also has a flavr! Soon iz haz an ugli plate, plz?

KTHXBYE

lolz!

-AY

(While I was utterly charmed by the use of lolcat speech and the effort that it takes to write it sadly this is not my winner. But as soon as I find the poster from Scholastic of the kitten on a branch that says “Hang In There” I will contact this writer and offer it up.)

———————————————————-

I know someone who looks like the person on the ugly plate, therefore when they finish their food they’ll think I served them on a mirror.

(This one also made me laugh and it made me wonder if she knows KK from two emails up. That would be pretty funny.)

———————————————————-

please tell me i can still have this!!!
-GM

(NO.)

———————————————————-
it is pretty ugly though.
-R

(Yes, yes it is. Thank you for your observation)

———————————————————-

So that it’s I chose the lovely contestant who’s roommate got her arrested and subsequently kicked out of school. I hope “The Ugly Plate” serves her well (ha) and that she finds many new friends and that those friends aren’t wearing orange jumpsuits and asking her for a pack of smokes.

Here she is! She was not what I expected a girl of multiple arrests to look like.



The Ugly Plate

How do you let a loved one know that you are mad at them or that they have wronged you in some way? Well, when you make them breakfast, lunch or dinner you serve it to them on “The Ugly Plate”. It gets the point across quite quickly. They will know that some injustice has been preformed against you and they will have to shape up or ship out.  Unfortunately for me I have used “The Ugly Plate” one too many times and now I am out of friends and loved ones.  So now I will give away “The Ugly Plate” and rebuild my friend network. But first please get this thing out of my house!

Can meet in Park Slope Thursday August 12 between 3 and 6ish.

———————————————————-

that’s awsome.

-ZY

———————————————————-

I love this master piece, I am very interested!

-JS

(Masterpiece is one word, are you unfamiliar with the popular TV show Masterpiece Theater? But I’m glad you love it.)

———————————————————-

that was really funny! Thanks for the laugh. You have a great sense of humor. I am sure you will have no problem finding new friends 🙂

-S

(Ohhh thanks!)

———————————————————-

I’m surprised you never tried to serve me a dutch baby on that thing.
-BG

(I am surprised too!)

———————————————————-

I’ll buy you dinner in exchange for The Ugly Plate

Maybe you’ll make a new friend

-ED

(Ummm did this guy just ask me out? I think he is looking in the wrong section on Craigslist maybe M seeking W? Or Casual Encounters?)

———————————————————-

I need it!  My best friend and roommate got me arrested three nights ago!  Again!  Now I am not going back to college.  I need my vengeance; I need this plate.  Do you still have it? I can come get it on the 12th.

LD

(Oh my god, her roommate got her arrested, AGAIN.  This is it, the winner of the Ugly Plate. I need to hear this story.)

———————————————————-

Hi! is the plate still available? If yes email me, and I will meet up with you
thank you!
-no

———————————————————-

That’s cool, people just don’t like the truth cindy

(I didn’t really understand this one because the e-mailer’s name was not Cindy.)

———————————————————-

hilarious!
that plate would certainly douse an appetite!
-ES

———————————————————-

i will be by methodist hospital on Friday at 2 pm if you can wait thanks

-PartyGal

(Hmmm maybe party gal should go to ArrestedGal’s party then we could talk.)

———————————————————-

Hi,
What a beautiful plate is it!  I would love to take it!
Who said it’s “The Ugly Plate”?
She looks like me!  I’ll take care of her well, enjoy to use her well.
Please give  her to me!

I live in Park Slope, and I’m off on Thursday!  perfect to pick her up! (such a fate to get her!!!)

Hope to hear from you.

-KK
(While it’s true that I was wildly tempted to e-mail this girl and ask her for a photo to confirm her likeness to “The Ugly Plate” I had already pretty much decided to go with ArrestedGal.)

———————————————————-

O Hai!

i saw uz haz an ugli plate! O yay! Cuz I has an ugli. I can haz ugli plat? Iz also has a flavr! Soon iz haz an ugli plate, plz?

KTHXBYE

lolz!

-AY
(While I was utterly charmed by the use of lolcat speech and the effort that it takes to write it sadly this is not my winner. But as soon as I find the poster from Scholastic of the kitten on a branch that says “Hang In There” I will contact this writer and offer it up.)

———————————————————-

I know someone who looks like the person on the ugly plate, therefore when they finish their food they’ll think I served them on a mirror.

(This one also made me laugh and it made me wonder if she knows KK from two emails up. That would be pretty funny.)

———————————————————-

please tell me i can still have this!!!
-GM

(NO.)

———————————————————-
it is pretty ugly though.
-R

(Yes, yes it is. Thank you for your observation)

———————————————————-

So that it’s I chose the lovely contestant who’s roommate got her arrested and subsequently kicked out of school. I hope “The Ugly Plate” serves her well (ha) and that she finds many new friends and that those friends aren’t wearing orange jumpsuits and asking her for a pack of smokes.

Here she is!

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